Sometimes, I don’t want to play Dungeons and Dragon. That might sound like a strange statement coming from someone whose literal job is writing about Dungeons and Dragons, but it’s true. There are days where I clock off, have a D&D session scheduled, and would rather be doing literally anything else.
Usually, it’s because I’m tired. A busy day or week can seriously hamper my creative streak, and I might have nothing left to give to roleplay. Perhaps I’ve had all the socializing I can handle at work, and I’m craving an evening under a blanket, doomscrolling and talking to no one.
I always play the game, though. The reason isn’t social nicety or career research – it’s the health benefits.
In 2023, the World Health Organization declared that loneliness was a global threat to public health. This isn’t just a Covid phenomenon, either. By 2024, Gallup reported that one in five Americans experienced daily bouts of loneliness – the highest levels since 2022.
The good news is that things aren’t as bad as they have been: 25% of Americans reported daily loneliness in 2021. The bad news is the number is still too high, and there are tangible effects on your health if you’re feeling lonely. In 2023, the US surgeon general said that loneliness was as deadly as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. One 2020 study estimated that lonely adults are 50% more likely to develop dementia and 30% more at risk of incident coronary artery disease.
How did we all end up so lonely? There are a lot of theories: economic struggles, increased social media use, divisive politics, age, you name it. For me, there are two major factors that make me feel lonely: age and a lack of third spaces.
That first one might seem odd, but hear me out. Statistically, we start spending more time alone after the age of 33. Those isolated hours only increase as we grow older. Similarly, the time we spend with family rapidly decreases after age 20. Time with friends also begins to decline in our 20s, and as we grow, we spend even less time with them than we do with family. Between age 20 and age 60, we spend around double the time with coworkers than we do with actual loved ones.
Maintaining close relationships gets tough once we leave our youth behind. It’s also tricky to make new friends, because there are fewer places to meet people than ever before. If age-related habits make us lonely, the death of third spaces, from community centers to cafes, keeps us lonely. In fact, young people, the demographic that should be doing the most socializing according to those same statistics, are increasingly one of the loneliest age groups.
The solution to this tackles both causes: we need to schedule in more time with people we love, in communal spaces that encourage us to socialize with new people, and (crucially) don’t cost a lot of money. D&D fits the bill perfectly, and I’m not the first person to notice. One study already espouses the immense social benefits of playing D&D.
So, yes, I could skip this week’s D&D session. Nobody would judge me for being too tired, or for not having time to prep properly ahead of the game. But I’m cheating myself out of time with people I love. I’m avoiding local game stores and virtual tabletops where I might expand my social circle as well as give my current relationships some TLC.
Sometimes, I don’t want to play D&D, but I need to. It’s good for me.
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